I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.

I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck.

And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up any time that could otherwise be spent performing.

I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood.

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.