It's not the best between my family and me. There are so many crimes left unpunished, debts unpaid, white elephants in the middle of the room that no one will even offer a peanut to. We are in the red, emotionally speaking.

I want Jesus to come back and say 'THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT'" -

I will never stop complaining.

You don't become a Republican until you lose all your baby teeth and fall down a lot and get the croup and then become angry and bitter.

I love tattooed women, maybe because they are uncontrollable, they are themselves to the point of drawing symbols of their power on their skin. Talk about owning your own body, being in your body, claiming yourself. I love it. When the world is in an uproar over whether women should have a choice or not when it comes to their own bodies, being tattooed is one of the most visible choices of all.

The newest victims of the nation's foreclosure crisis are pets, which is extremely distressing to me.

People at shows have told me that they've shown my videos to their parents and families to help them come out of the closet. It's very inspiring that comedy can do that and can help people cope with everyday life and challenges through humor.