People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.

When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

You can go to heaven if you want. I'd rather stay in Bermuda.

Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

The silent colossal National Lie that is the support and confederate of all the tyrannies and shams and inequalities and unfairnesses that afflict the peoples — that is the one to throw bricks and sermons at.