I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.

I do not know what we should do without the pulpit. We could better spare the sun-the moon, anyway.

The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.

There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.

The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made he (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one...that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.