I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.

No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be — a Christian.

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.