O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain.

Suddenly the nickel-clad horse takes the bit in its mouth and goes slanting for the curbstone defying all prayers and all your powers to change its mind - your heart stands still, your breath hangs fire, your legs forget to work.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.

Gratitude is a debt which usually goes on accumulating like blackmail; the more you pay, the more is exacted.

All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse.

I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.