The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.

We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight million years.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.

Perhaps no poet is a conscious plagiarist, but there seems to be warrant for suspecting that there is no poet who is not at one time or another an unconscious one.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

Buy land, they're not making it anymore.