Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography that exists in print anywhere. It makes Nero an angel of light and leading by contrast.

All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.

Such is professional jealousy; a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.

Perhaps no poet is a conscious plagiarist, but there seems to be warrant for suspecting that there is no poet who is not at one time or another an unconscious one.

The darling mispronunciations of childhood! - dear me, there's no music that can touch it; and how one grieves when it wastes away and dissolves into correctness, knowing it will never visit his bereaved ear again.