Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.

No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.

You have noticed that the human being is a curiosity. In times past he has had (and worn out and flung away) hundreds and hundreds of religions; today he has hundreds and hundreds of religions, and launches not fewer than three new ones every year. I could enlarge on that number and still be within the facts.

Ignorance is not, not knowing something. It is knowing what isn't so.

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.