There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus.

If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers.

God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them in one day when they were again needed. Therefore it was an odd idea to save specimens of them for eleven months in the ark, whilst aware that eight persons could not feed or water them by any human possibility. If they were to be preserved by miracle, the ark was not necessary - to let them swim would have answered the purpose and been more indubitably miraculous.

If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.