Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

I hate editors, for they make me abandon a lot of perfectly good English words.

First catch your Boer, then kick him.

There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.

It was the most earnest ambition I ever had....Not that I ever really wanted to be a preacher, but because it never occurred to me that a preacher could be damned. It looked like a safe job.

I do not want Michael Angelo for breakfast-but for luncheon-for dinner- for tea-for supper-for between meals.