I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.

It's an epitome of life. The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.

Sometimes you gwyne to git hurt, en sometimes you gwyne to git sick; but every time you's gwyne to git well agin.

A Patriot is someone who stands for his country always, and for his government when it is deserved.

There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.

The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny