I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return

I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.

There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.