I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return

When congress is in session no American is safe.

Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him; has passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.

The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.

Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.