I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit.

Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business.

Italy is the home of art and swindling; home of religion and moral rottenness

If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.

There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it.