Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.

Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment.

The house was as empty as a beer closet in premises where painters have been at work.

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.

If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.

It is my heart-warmed and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor, the admired, the despised, the loved, the hated, the civilized, the savage (every man and brother of us all throughout the whole earth), may eventually be gathered together in a heaven of everlasting rest and peace and bliss, except the inventor of the telephone.

Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. That is where the true evil lies.