When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.

...one of the first achievements of the legislature was to institute a ten-thousand-dollar agricultural fair to show off forty dollars' worth of pumpkins in - however, the Territorial legislature was usually spoken of as the "asylum".

Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.

I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.

You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.