I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.

Congress: America's only true criminal class.

There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

I have never seen what to me seemed an atom of proof that there is a future life. And yet-I am inclined to expect one.

If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and furnish him with his orders: Depart into the uttermost corners of the earth and, diligently do your appointed work. Persecute the sick child, settle upon its eyes, its face, its hands, and gnaw and pester and sting, worry and fret and madden the worn and tried mother who watches by the child and humbly prays for mercy and relief with the pathetic faith of the deceived and the unteachable.