Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.

All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.

July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so

Few of us stand prosperity; another man's I mean.

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.