Man - a figment of God's imagination.

Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.

I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.

If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?

If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.

Written things are not for speech; their form is literary; they are stiff, inflexible, and will not lend themselves to happy and effective delivery with the tongue-where their purpose is to merely entertain, not instruct; they have to be limbered up, broken up, colloquialized and turned into common forms of premeditated talk-otherwise they will bore the house and not entertain it.