An adventure is something that while it's happening you wish it wasn't.

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.

The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike; a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.

Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'

A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.