I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy; if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.