The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.