A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that the savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.

The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.