None of us can have as many virtues as the fountain-pen, or half its cussedness; but we can try.

The moral sense enables one to perceive morality, and avoid it. The immoral sense enables one to perceive immorality and enjoy it.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

Adam was not alone in the Garden of Eden, however, and does not deserve all the credit; much is due to Eve, the first woman, and Satan, the first consultant.

It has taken a weary long time to persuade American Presbyterians to give up infant damnation and try to bear it the best they can.

In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere.

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.