...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'

Until I came to New Mexico, I never realized how much beauty water adds to a river.

The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.

The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.