The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.

High and fine literature is wine, and mine is only water; but everybody likes water.

The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories— and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures.

The southerner talks music.

It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.