Whenever he was out of luck and a little down-hearted, he would fall to mourning over the loss of a wonderful cat he used to own (for where women and children are not, men of kindly impulses take up with pets, for they must love something)

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man

Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.

I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.

He said that man’s heart was the only bad heart in the animal kingdom; that man was the only animal capable of feeling malice, envy, vindictiveness, revengefulness, hatred, selfishness, the only animal that loves drunkenness, almost the only animal that could endure personal uncleanliness and a filthy habitation, the sole animal in whom was fully developed the base instinct called patriotism, the sole animal that robs, persecutes, oppresses and kills members of his own tribe, the sole animal that steals and enslaves the members of any tribe.