Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

She kept up her compliments, and I kept up my determination to deserve them or die.

To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.

When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them. That is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life.