I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.

All gods are better than their reputation.

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.