Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

I was born lazy. I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.

I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!