Do right and you will be conspicuous.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky. It is the prohibition that makes anything precious.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals.

Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?

What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.