There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.

If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.

A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.

It is no use to keep private information which you can't show off.

The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.