I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.

Morals are not the important thing-nor enlightenment-nor civilization. A man can do absolutely well without them, but he can't do without something to eat. The supremest thing is the need of the body, not of the mind and spirit.

I said there was nothing so convincing to an Indian as a general massacre. If he could not approve of the massacre, I said the next surest thing for an Indian was soap and education. Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run; because a half-massacred Indian may recover, but if you educate him and wash him, it is bound to finish him some time or other.

When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.

I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it.