I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Every man feels that his experience is unlike that of anybody else and therefore he should write it down-- he finds also that everybody else has thought and felt on some points precisely as he has done, and therefore he should write it down.

Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.