Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him.

Independence-is loyalty to one's best self and principles, and this is often disloyalty to the general idols and fetishes.

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.