To avoid being drawn into error, keep a firm grip on the truth.

Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?

There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to; but a hog is different.

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

The New York papers have long known that no large question is ever really settled until I have been consulted.

It was the most earnest ambition I ever had....Not that I ever really wanted to be a preacher, but because it never occurred to me that a preacher could be damned. It looked like a safe job.

His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.