I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.

I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.

The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it; the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.

Presbyterianism without infant damnation would be like the dog on the train that couldn't be identified because it had lost its tag.

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.