If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.

Every year you wait, long ago gets farther away.

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.