An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I've dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half... I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same money for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop.... I never write valetudinarian at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn't do it for fifteen.

It{California} is the land where the fabled Aladdin's Lamp lies buried-and she {San Francisco} is the new Aladdin who shall seize it from its obscurity and summon the genie and command him to crown her with power and greatness and bring to her feet the hoarded treasures of the earth.

The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.

God has put something noble and good into every heart His hand created.

Conservatism is the blind and fear-filled worship of dead radicals.

If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.