Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.

It is easy to make plans in this world; even a cat can do it; and when one is out in those remote oceans it is noticeable that a cat's plans and a man's are worth about the same. There is much the same shrinkage in both, in the matter of values.

If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

A "classic" is a book that everybody praises but nobody has read

Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.