Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.

Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder.

Everybody's private motto: It's better to be popular than right.

The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in.