A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.

The editor of a newspaper cannot be independent, but must work with one hand tied behind him by party and patrons, and be content to utter only half or two-thirds of his mind . writers of all kinds are manacled servants of the public. We write frankly and fearlessly, but then we "modify" before we print.

Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.