In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.

We may not doubt that society in heaven consists mainly of undesirable persons.

To be vested with enormous authority is a fine thing; but to have the on-looking world consent to it is finer.

Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If The Eiffel Tower were now to represent the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno.

Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.

All people have had ill luck, but Jairus's daughter and Lazarus had the worst.

There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.