Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.

Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!

I hate to hear people say this Judge will vote so and so, because he is a Democrat -- and this one so and so because he is a Republican. It is shameful. The Judges have the Constitution for their guidance; they have no right to any politics save the politics of rigid right and justice when they are sitting in judgment upon the great matters that come before them.

Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can "show off" and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off.