The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.

Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.

To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.

Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.