The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.

The convention missionaries call "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.

We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight million years.

I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the #‎ telephone .

The primary rule of business success is loyalty to your employer. That's all right as a theory. What is the matter with loyalty to yourself?

I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.

I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.