If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor

I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.

Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century.

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.