My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.

I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.

The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the telling;the comic and the witty story upon the matter.

The ability to find solutions to life's challenges is what makes us grow as a person.

What, then, is the true Gospel of consistency? Change. Who is the really consistent man? The man who changes. Since change is the law of his being, he cannot be consistent if he stick in a rut.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.