I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.

What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.

To be busy is man's only happiness.

When angry, count to a hundred.

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.

I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered.

Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.