The silent colossal National Lie that is the support and confederate of all the tyrannies and shams and inequalities and unfairnesses that afflict the peoples — that is the one to throw bricks and sermons at.

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.

The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.

Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.

If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead.

Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything