... the English alphabet is pure insanity..., It can hardly spell any word in the language with any degree of certainty.

The New York papers have long known that no large question is ever really settled until I have been consulted.

All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.

Perfect grammar - persistent, continuous, sustained - is the fourth dimension, so to speak; many have sought it, but none has found it.

The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty

I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.